Post by Raphael on Feb 16, 2010 9:48:32 GMT -5
Candy:
Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers: No, not that minty candy grasshoppers. I'm talking about the real thing. The bug. Chocolate covered because hey, without all that metal the guy ain't a bad package, but we all know the nasty little bug that lurks within. Always somehow hopping out of harm's way and coming back to haunt our fearsome foursome.
Black Jelly Beans - No one likes them at all, but they keep putting them in the fucking package, and there's always more of them in the package than all the others (though I'd so rather have the black jellys over popcorn) just like Shredder is dominating the city. The Fucker. Go take your black jelly bean self and leap into the nearest trash compactor!
Appetizer:
Raw Oysters - They're slimy and hidden inside of armor as well. And you have to slurp them up, which is gross, and we can imagine him taking quite joy in swallowing poor little creatures whole like the Walrus and the Carpenter.
Sauerkraut - It's made from shredded cabbage (get it?), and is also sour vinegary, just as Shredder is a vinegar type of a-hole. He gets his purple panties in a twist about some tiny slight and just doesn't let it go.
Dinner:
Fugu (Blowfish): - A fish that puffs up with spines, like his armor, full of hot air and irrational anger. It's also a delicacy, which seems a showy, pompous thing the Shredmeister would eat. Plus, if prepared improperly, there's a very high risk of dun dun DUN CERTAIN DEATH! Just like facing Shredder might result in... well nothing really. He kinda sucks. Enjoy your deadly fish!
Crab: - He is a crab, taking his anger out on teenage turtles and an old, stringcheese rat. Seriously, dude, pick on someone your own species. He probably has crabs from one of his foot. Don't go sleeping with subordinates. Rule number one of having an evil empire. Also, it's covered in armor, just like his tin foil hat.
Drinks:
Shochu - A Japanese alcohol, he's Japanese!, that is weaker than whiskey but stronger than sake just as Shredder is not that strong (seriously defeated by a rat, so not earning cool points with that) nor that weak (he did defeat all four turtles). It has a nutty flavor, and he is fucking crazy.
Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers: No, not that minty candy grasshoppers. I'm talking about the real thing. The bug. Chocolate covered because hey, without all that metal the guy ain't a bad package, but we all know the nasty little bug that lurks within. Always somehow hopping out of harm's way and coming back to haunt our fearsome foursome.
Black Jelly Beans - No one likes them at all, but they keep putting them in the fucking package, and there's always more of them in the package than all the others (though I'd so rather have the black jellys over popcorn) just like Shredder is dominating the city. The Fucker. Go take your black jelly bean self and leap into the nearest trash compactor!
Appetizer:
Raw Oysters - They're slimy and hidden inside of armor as well. And you have to slurp them up, which is gross, and we can imagine him taking quite joy in swallowing poor little creatures whole like the Walrus and the Carpenter.
Sauerkraut - It's made from shredded cabbage (get it?), and is also sour vinegary, just as Shredder is a vinegar type of a-hole. He gets his purple panties in a twist about some tiny slight and just doesn't let it go.
Dinner:
Fugu (Blowfish): - A fish that puffs up with spines, like his armor, full of hot air and irrational anger. It's also a delicacy, which seems a showy, pompous thing the Shredmeister would eat. Plus, if prepared improperly, there's a very high risk of dun dun DUN CERTAIN DEATH! Just like facing Shredder might result in... well nothing really. He kinda sucks. Enjoy your deadly fish!
Crab: - He is a crab, taking his anger out on teenage turtles and an old, stringcheese rat. Seriously, dude, pick on someone your own species. He probably has crabs from one of his foot. Don't go sleeping with subordinates. Rule number one of having an evil empire. Also, it's covered in armor, just like his tin foil hat.
Drinks:
Shochu - A Japanese alcohol, he's Japanese!, that is weaker than whiskey but stronger than sake just as Shredder is not that strong (seriously defeated by a rat, so not earning cool points with that) nor that weak (he did defeat all four turtles). It has a nutty flavor, and he is fucking crazy.